Calm, just calm, you’ve already grown up, you don’t need to go to school anymore. But since September has already arrived, our Magic Ball decided to tell us who the best student is – according to the zodiac sign, of course.
12th place – Pisces
It’s sad but true: Pisces are the worst learners. That is, this fact is sad for teachers who for years have been struggling like fish against ice, trying to get at least a word on the case out of Rybka. Only great teachers succeed in this, and they are as rare as crocodiles in the Volga. All the others look at Rybka with dull despair, perfectly understanding the following: at the very least, Rybka knows the subject, but she could know it better than anyone else. If it suddenly became interesting to emerge from your rich inner world and study dreary algebra. This would be possible if someone could prove to her that algebra is not at all boring. But – alas.
11th place – Libra
The main headache of any teacher is, of course, Libra. Who doesn’t understand a damn thing, not because they lack the ability, but because it is completely unclear to them what the point is in making efforts if today they are interested in one thing, and tomorrow (which is logical) – something completely different. Libra is completely satisfied with the very average result of this attitude towards learning. And if suddenly not, then they make big plaintive eyes. And whoever does not draw a four in response for no reason – that one has no heart!
10th place — Aries
Aries are the main sufferers of the zodiac, who, even in retirement, at the mention of the word “school”, fall into the sacred rage of a berserker and begin frantically gnawing on a battle shield (or the tender throat of the one who mentions this very school). Because it’s unbearable, unbearable! Schedule, bells, school uniform, “Why am I late again,” “Step back three squares,” “Didn’t you forget your head at home?!”… Hatred! Kill! But since killing is still not entirely legal, Aries prefers to be a hooligan: disrupting classes, defiantly ignoring homework, persuading the entire class to play truant, solemnly burning a magazine in the basement, and appearing for an exam with a green mohawk. Well, as you understand, the leader of the protest movement simply cannot have time to study. And why, exactly? Who learned anything useful at this school, huh? That’s the same thing.
9th place – Scorpio
Scorpios, as a rule, do well in their first school years, especially if they find a kind and affectionate class teacher. If a fury and a harpy come across, Scorpio will study simply brilliantly, although it would seem, well, where better? All this is done to earn a reputation. Only at the moment when Scorpio understands that the points earned will be enough for another couple of years of comfortable school life, will it be possible to stop doing nonsense and begin to develop their true talents. Which, as you understand, have nothing to do with the school curriculum. But they are directly related to furies and harpies. , excuse me, will have to move and go cry in the staff room. Because there can only be one harpy in a school!
8th place – Taurus
Taurus can study well, but she is lazy. Too lazy to get up in the morning; too lazy to drag yourself to school on a chilly November morning, cursing your good health (everyone has a sore throat, but Taurus doesn’t care!); too lazy to do homework when you can lie under the blanket with books and cookies. In general, the education of Taurus is saved only by strict, vigilant control on the part of parents, and even then in the lower grades. Then, however, Taurus is saved by his natural charm: how can you not give a good grade, it’s clear that the girl tried so hard! Because Taurus has no equal in their ability to brilliantly imitate hectic activity.
7th place – Sagittarius
Sagittarius is the only sign of the zodiac that begins to moan “Send me to school, are you sorry, or what ?!” still in the middle group of kindergarten. Because everything is so beautiful there! New! Unknown! Beautiful school uniforms, textbooks smelling deliciously of fresh printing ink, unknown rules of mysterious adult life, and, most importantly, new people. And the new status is not “Oh what a little girl,” but a whole adult schoolgirl. And Sagittarius is the first to bite into the granite of science and with genuine enthusiasm. After that, he quickly gnaws a metaphorical hole in him until the very final exams and, with a clear conscience, does not do a damn thing for the next 10 years. Well, she already knows everything, so what’s the point in straining herself?
6th place – Virgo
Unexpected turn! For some reason, everyone thinks that Virgos love to learn and should take first place, but this is not entirely true. Rather, this is not at all the case: Virgos love to study, but only what they are interested in. Unfortunately, you won’t find something interesting for Virgos as part of the school curriculum during the day with fire – unless, of course, they start teaching Chinese or, say, an in-depth course in human anatomy at school. Virgo does not consider it necessary to spend effort on everything else and therefore receives brilliant marks only in those subjects that are at least a little like her. And he thinks, by the way, that by doing so he is doing teachers a great favor. Because in a subject that she likes, Virgo understands better than some, let’s not point fingers.
5th place – Aquarius
Fifth place goes to Aquarius, who almost always finishes school with a gold medal. But our magic ball sees everything, so we have to tell you that Aquarians finish their studies around the third grade. By this time, they are usually aware of the futility and futility of the event called “I will teach everything myself” and proceed to the thing that they do best: to manipulate others. Who are happy to write checklists for Aquarius. That is, Aquarius is, in fact, the only sign that manages to take knowledge and skills useful in life out of the school walls. Bravo!
4th place – Gemini
The Geminis, who don’t study at school at all, fell just short of the top three. They go to school to hang out and at the same time manage to get excellent grades in all subjects and pass exams with ease, without preparing for them at all. The option to “grab everything on the fly” is built into Gemini’s body by default, and they manage to comprehend the secrets of logarithms by listening to the droning of their desk neighbor with one ear and plugging an earphone into the other. In all likelihood, somewhere under the teacher’s desk sits the invisible subpersonality of Gemini who carefully takes notes on everything. We still have no other options for explaining the Gemini phenomenon.
3rd place – Leo
The bronze medal goes to the Lionesses, who really want to be the first and the best everywhere. They would have succeeded brilliantly if the ruthless pedagogical system had not recruited among its ranks teachers who work on the principle of carrots and sticks. Because Lionesses only need gingerbread. And more, more! And for the slightest wave of a whip near her royal person, the Lioness will take revenge. It is cruel to take revenge. For example, he will ruin the annual results of a hated teacher, although he knows the subject perfectly. And yes, even at the school KVN it is funny and very insulting to parody him. And here it will be the first, do not hesitate.
2nd place – Capricorn
The party said: “We must!” – Komsomol replied: “Yes!” This is exactly how Capricorn learns: he sets himself the goal of becoming an excellent student and easily achieves it. Because Capricorn is smart, a diligent student, and a man with a seat of steel. Capricorn is a person for whom it is easier to give final A’s in all subjects on the first of September than to try to teach. Because in the business of dissecting teachers’ brains, Capricorns have no equal: “Why do we need to know this, it will be on the exam?”, “Why do we need to do it in writing, I know everything, I’ll do it orally,” “Is it important to learn this by heart?” And after all, which is typical, there is absolutely nothing to expel Capricorn from the class. Talent!
1st place – Cancer
Ta-damm! A place of honor goes to Cancers – the main excellent students in the horoscope. And this is not surprising, because Cancers feel comfortable within the framework of school discipline. That is, they don’t feel at all comfortable there, because this most ominous school discipline in the person of the head teacher and the school cleaning lady broke off its shark teeth on their shell back in the first grade and crawled away, muttering pitifully. As for studies and school events directly, Cancer is a pioneer and an example for all children. Because Cancers are very ambitious, and a gold medal along with other goodies pleasantly warms their soul. Moreover, you don’t need to do anything, by and large: What’s so complicated about this school curriculum? So Cancers don’t understand.