What Crimes Are Zodiacs Prone To? Who Should Be Imprisoned For What?

Find out with us what crimes different Zodiac signs are most prone to. What should you beware of different Zodiacs? You should know this!

ARIES (21.03. – 20.04.)

There’s not much to choose from. If an impulsive Aries gets carried away, it’s because of wild antics, for example, gunshot and knife wounds. Being a member of a criminal group, he will not tolerate the position of the six, but will certainly push himself into the leadership position. He shows his coolness – he often gets into trouble. And he gets slapped on the horns. Good advice to lost sheep (Aries lambs in wolf’s clothing) – turn yourself in. Know that our court is the most humane (or fair) court in the world!

What crimes are you prone to? TAURUS (21.04. – 21.05.)

He loves questions: “Where should I invest my money?” Although no – where to get them from! There are safes for this. Taurus is a “safecracker” (box specialist) – a calling into which you can invest work and patience. Especially the second one, because the deadlines are long. All that remains is to calculate how much you need to carry to sit comfortably (while away the days and nights). Perhaps the score will not be in your favor. Should I do some honest work? By the way, the most likely outcome is hanging. Take care of your throat. Do not engage in criminal activities.

GEMINI (22.05. – 21.06.)

Don’t put your finger in their mouth. They’ll steal it and won’t blink an eye. There is no market (i.e., no doubt), you have to train your intellect – think: “How to have everything, but so that there is nothing for it?”

By the way, all people are brothers (especially Geminis ) – however, these people have a proud name – “brothers”. Fans of motor vehicles (they love to “run over” and steal), and also… the mafia (like many Geminis) has long arms! However, the sweetest creatures will never agree to “wetness”. Main specialization: theft, speculation, cheating, deception (sleight of hand and no fraud). Play cards, twist thimbles – don’t feed them bread, let them cheat… At the same time, they remember all the articles of the Criminal Code. With such a memory, it is convenient to play in cities. For example, Ulan-Ude. – Why? – I was sitting there.

What crimes are you prone to? CANCER (22.06. – 22.07.)

The concept of home is not an empty phrase for a seasoned convict. This is who the popular rumor trumpets about: “Your house is a prison!” The bunks are the best bed, the blanket is the starlight in the window… The concept of family (for example, mafia) is not alien to Cancer, he clings tightly to his buddies (“root”, clan is the basis of being), and tries to follow in the footsteps of authoritative ancestors (does not betray the family craft). It’s easy to guess where astrological trends are heading: toward the vocation of “burglar”. The smaller ones have a narrow specialization – window makers. By the way, Cancer will not go to his usual business without fear (he will take her with him). Therefore, “fell in the air due to negligence” is not about him. However, you cannot insure yourself against prison (as well as against scrip), and… there remains hope that the walls at home will help.

In general, Cancer has the most vulnerable soul (in the entire Zodiac), and has “concepts” about conscience. So: “To freedom with a clear conscience!” Congratulations in advance.

LEO (23.07. – 23.08.)

In criminal law, this is a cheerful person who understood: “You cannot become famous for good deeds.” However, I want the memory to remain (“no one is forgotten, nothing is forgotten!”). You have to look for a crooked path, rake in easy money, and waste a beautiful life. The methods of satisfying the ego (in common parlance – cheap populism) are not similar in form, but the same in content. Favorite pastime: putting shoes on suckers. On a bet, a draw, with the effect (!) of bringing brilliance to poverty, and sometimes back… A primitive invention of mankind – a scam, brings one closer to a feeling of genius significance; vanity grows to an indecent size and… does not lead to good.

What’s happening? Sweepstakes, casinos, and enchanting shows – no longer delight the ears, eyes, body, and addictions. The state house is waiting for you! Take part in prison amateur performances (talents are needed everywhere). You won’t notice how you’re passing your time in creative pursuits. Good advice: use robbery and banditry in movies, not in real life. Otherwise, instead of a warm pillow (and your favorite toy), you will stumble upon a stone wall in a remote dungeon…

What crimes are you prone to? VIRGO (24.08. – 23.09.)

They don’t do big things: they love petty thefts but with sophisticated chic. If handbags are cut off, it is not for making money, but for the sake of art. To support this noble initiative, they learn to master the skill of determining by eye who is rich and who to stop robbing (i.e., already poor). Realizing that art requires sacrifice, they meet new victims in countless numbers. However, not everyone reaches the point of triviality. Those who are more educated hone the skill of cheating of the highest standard on accounting notes and enterprising absent-mindedness (they confuse crosses and toes – making profits from “frivolous” little things).

However, life, while accepting zeroes, does not stop at crosses. The day comes when rude law enforcement officers take you under their white hands and lead you to the office… The rest of history is known. They solder it according to the proverb: “Small is the spool, but expensive,” i.e., for a small profit, they bought everything to the fullest (“from bell to bell”). But he could, like an honest fraer, live in freedom on one salary.

LIBRA (24.09. – 23.10.)

Elite habits lead to crimes on aristocratic grounds. Natural laziness and reluctance to workforce people to commit offenses in a selected environment, for example, in a theater (a place of culture and recreation). Scams in hotels are elegantly beautiful – instilling confidence in the surrounding elite and the cream of society. It’s great to wear white gloves, wrapped in a muffler, and not disdain “to show off” a thick (probably someone else’s) purse. You should work in pairs (one person cannot carry so much). And you have to share, otherwise, your friends won’t understand.

If you are worried that during your cultural imprisonment, your partner will leave for someone else, don’t be sad. The partner will not leave if he is also sitting. In short, marriages are not just made in heaven. There will be a holiday in your cell too!

SCORPIO (24.10. – 22.11.)

I like to go too far, push my license, express coolness, and not keep my mouth shut. His favorite pastime is robbing cash-in-transit vehicles, committing rape (with elements of perversion), and attempting to kill ordinary citizens! Robbery and particularly serious abuse – alas, this is what the (criminogenic) environment attracts.

However, some relatively honest citizens follow the principle: “Paid taxes – sleep well.” These are honest recruiters who will not take too much.

Conscience doesn’t allow it. However, the prisons also need to be filled, so there are “volunteers” to exceed the plan (with combat distinction). They say: “the grave will correct the hunchback,” and Scorpio is a good prison. Where can you find a good one? You have to choose for a long time until you settle on the last one – forever.

What crimes are you prone to? SAGITTARIUS (11/23 – 12/21)

Those who are lucky are fools and Sagittarius. Their element is scams on a grand scale, at a high international level. It attracts people to sell tickets for non-existent cruises, promises mountains of gold (mass enrichment) out of the blue, and goes to Strelka as a boss.

Sometimes it’s nice to hijack a plane to a foreign country and establish fraternal foreign ties. For example, what are not relatives – the Italian Cosa Nostra, the Japanese Yakuza, or the Shanghai (Chinese) Triad? Although, there are enough of their own Sagittarius there.

By the way, they get amnesty more often than others. However, before it, you need to sit well (for example, on a diet). And then – go free, party, have fun!

To begin with, I advise you to open a restaurant. Don’t dare to object: “I opened it and the alarm went off.” Nothing, but there will be something to write memoirs about – in places not so remote… Where planes do not fly and trains do not go.

CAPRICORN (22.12 – 20.01.)

He doesn’t have to grumble about fate, he will have to experience adversity on his own back. The life plan is brutally simple – get drunk, eat too much, and go back to prison. There’s no rush to sit down for short periods; just keep on and on (until the end of time).

You can become a cold-blooded killer whose mathematics is simple: 1 old woman – a ruble, therefore 5 old women – 5 rubles! However, retribution is inevitable, like an executioner’s axe. One thing is depressing – the dreary longevity.

Somehow it’s at the wrong time… However, everything must be brought to an end – if not victorious, at least a dead end. Old joke: “Happy New Year! For good behavior, you got another year.” Very funny.

AQUARIUS (21.01. – 19.02.)

As always, something absurd (sometimes original) happens. For example, I went to work but forgot the iron at home (not turn it off, but take it with me). Aquarius has an inquisitive mind (they like to master new tortures – with an iron).

A natural inclination towards electrical engineering (and new technologies in particular) leads to the last squeak – in the field of application of modern devices. They love sophisticated computer-controlled jeeps, striking clocks (for further perversions), and electric shock stimulators. Tellingly, they get the electric chair.

In general, by approaching things inventively, with friends (that is, a team of close-knit slobs and parasites who are tempted to suddenly get rich for free), you can break a lot of wood. Particular success (luck) is pursued in hacking virtual stores because intelligence allows it.

However, no matter how much the rope twists, it will close on the source of the crime (short circuit for many years). You will start a new life in an old prison.

PISCES (20.02. – 20.03.)

They are seemingly harmless creatures, but “in reality” they are secret mafiosi and terrible seducers (seducers). His favorite pastime is drug trafficking. By the way, they love to poison their competitors with poisons, but in the end, they also drink the cup of suffering to the dregs.

Of course, it is difficult to do without grumbling about fate (the villain), but the punishment of fate is inevitable, therefore… humility is the best medicine for lost criminal elements. Otherwise – a gas chamber. Come surrender, bring yourself to clean water.

Don’t bother the police – don’t force them to catch you red-handed. Reveal secrets voluntarily. At the highest court, you will be given credit. On this too…