Our Magic Ball tells which of the zodiac signs is simply the standard of femininity. Maybe it is you?
12th place – Gemini
If the patient wants to live, medicine is powerless. If Gemini wants to spin all your ideas about the ideal woman on the axis of the universe (and they do), the universe is also powerless. And you all too, yes, yes. Gemini didn’t give a damn about how you see a standard woman, and even more so about how you want to see her. We were daydreaming, oh. Excuse me, can I show you my ass?!
11th place – Virgo
Virgos know that logic has no gender, as does analytical thinking, and they seem to know this from birth. By the time Virgo grows up in the sandbox, she is already “her guy.” Well, according to others. In his own opinion, Virgo is not a guy at all, naturally, but if these stupid little people really need strict gender boundaries, then let them. Virgo is not going to enlighten these little ones for free.
10th place – Sagittarius
Sagittarius should be excluded from this horoscope altogether, but, unfortunately, we cannot, so we ask Sagittarius’s forgiveness in advance. Not for 10th place, but for the fact that they even dared to put the words “Sagittarius” and “standard” next to each other. The standard, of course, is ideal, but it is unchanged. Can anyone imagine a Sagittarius young lady who does not change? So we don’t. On the other hand, Sagittarius still does not reach the honorable last place precisely because of its variability. This, you know, is very feminine: “Oh, I’m so contradictory all over!”
9th place – Aries
Scary woman! In the sense that she is beautiful, smart, beautiful, and sexy. Look, but do not touch with your hands – at least without permission. Because if you carelessly touch Aries with your hands, the Alien will crawl out of it and smile dazzlingly with all 148 teeth. The spectacle is not for the faint of heart, to be honest. Especially because the Alien is an Aries, and has a bow on his head. Well, because he’s a girl!
8th place – Capricorn
Capricorns generally don’t understand what this model woman of yours is, and why the hell do you need her, pray for her, or what? Or strive to become one? What nonsense! Capricorns have seen all these gender stereotypes in their graves, and those who are going to demand typically feminine behavior from Capricorns risk ending up there too. In a coffin, I mean. In white slippers.
7th place – Taurus
Taurus wants to be a girly girl: dresses, rings, “Oh, I didn’t touch anything, it’s just there.” In general, she not only succeeds but does it perfectly: while the Taurus lady sits and beautifully bats her eyelashes, everyone around is in full confidence that she is the standard woman. But, unfortunately, the Taurus lady cannot sit all her life. And when I walk, something starts to ring. Treacherously.
6th place – Aquarius
Athlete, Komsomol member, and simply beautiful. The ideal woman with whom everyone falls in love at first sight. And here lies the problem, because Aquarius doesn’t want to love anyone. Aquarius wants to be friends because, firstly, it is more interesting, and secondly, it is more reliable. And who wants to plunge into the pool of dark passions, let them look for Scorpio for themselves. Only first you will have to hit your head against the wall – they say that some people managed to forget Aquarius in this way.
5th place – Cancer
Cancers want to be standard women, but they are shy. Or they are afraid. Or they think they won’t succeed. And they choose some female archetype for themselves – the Woman-Mother, for example, and bring it to perfection, inaccessible to all other signs. Thank them very much for this. Those who are not a Woman-Mother, for example, now have a chance not to hang themselves in a dark corner from envy.
4th place – Pisces
Pisces almost reached a place in the top three – they are almost standard women. Insidious eaters of men’s hearts who do not want to decide anything, but want a dress and pendants. In fact, of course, Pisces wants everyone to leave them alone and not invade their ideal inner female world with their harsh reality.
3rd place – Leo
Lionesses close the top three – we write the third, the first is in our minds. At least in the minds of Lionesses, who do not doubt for a second that they are the ideal women, and everyone should learn femininity from them. Hypothetically. In practice, the Lionesses are not going to take these hands and create competitors for themselves, so we will not give them first place. There’s no point in being greedy because!
2nd place – Scorpio
The honorable second place goes to Scorpio – the standard woman who was moved from the winner’s pedestal by merciless time. Not in the sense that Scorpios grow old early, but in the sense that the world has changed somewhat: the Holy Inquisition, for example, has already been abolished. But Scorpio is the standard embodiment of a woman as a fiend of debauchery and vice. The devil in a skirt. And those who were hurt by her femininity now have nowhere to complain. Maybe in Sportloto.
1st place – Libra
And here he is – the standard that all other women dream of being! If you ask them why, they will say that Libra miraculously embodies all the qualities attributed to women, and those that are generally considered negative, Libra manages to present as a virtue. Do you know why? Because Libras don’t bother at all with the question “Am I feminine enough?”, but simply live and enjoy life. This is what we all wish for.